Beatrix Ost 
More Than Everything [EPUB ebook] 
My Voyage with the Gods of Love

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“Beatrix uses words like she uses paint. . .with brush strokes so vivid and rich I feel as if I’m there watching as her story unfolds. I love this book!” –Sissy Spacek

Beatrix Ost’s memoir of her artistic awakening and early marriage opens on the heels of Germany’s recovery from the self-imposed disasters of World War II. She is part of the new generation that dances disobediently in the bombed-out villas and underground jazz caverns of Munich. Beatrix rides the dynamic decade up through the world of art, fashion, and cinema into the revolution of politics and consciousness.

Marriage to the self-made prodigy and archaeologist, Ferdinand, impresario of the Hot Club, draws her into the mystical realm of the ancient Mexican gods. Soon, two sons are born. They make an odyssey through Mexico where, under the wing of the artistic elite, their homes full of Riveras and Kahlos, the initial impression is intoxicating. But the further they press inland, the more Ferdinand loses himself in his obsession and addictions.

Ost draws us into the vortex of human craving to portray the complexities of her early marriage to a man scarred by the war, climbing the magical mountain of his own desires.

Accompanied by the author’s artwork and photographs from her private collection, Ost “…shakes free of an impossibly dark life as the wife of an alcoholic…brushes off the stardust of romance and, stepping back in the light, comes into her own.” (Barbara Epler, President, New Directions Publishing)

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Table of Content


Before We Begin 6


PART ONE 8


The Sphere 9

A tale of innocence


A Farewell 18

Father’s dream of Africa


The Bird of Paradise Dress 25

How a young former officer became our family’s familiar


My Sister Becomes a Beast 40

Shoving a fiancé off to America


Hammer or Anvil 49

A saffron dress, a marital blessing


PART TWO 56


The Letter-Writer 57

They never doubted my cleverness


Black and White 70

Beauty causes a car accident


Coffeehouse Culture 76

There I saw him for the first time


The Villa 83

We became creatures of the demimonde


The Raft 89

The infallible omnipotent finger into the future


Love 98

A sandstorm of grandiose words


The Mother 112

They were accomplices


Proper Lies 119

Love is a powerful, moody god


The Song of Irresponsibility 130

The listener falls for the storyteller


Chaos Takes Over Order 137

Robust reality holds the thread of happiness


Elixir of Personal Freedom 145

The ampule in the desk drawer


Bob 157

Probably even the sofa is pregnant


Sympathy for the Object of Contempt 164

A kind of Machiavellian footnote


Smoky Language of the Wind 172

She carries a knife of obsidian at her breast

PART THREE 182


The Journey 183

Mankind must sacrifice its treasures to the gods


Ciudad de Mexico 193

Self-dramatization as an art form


Yo creo que es el 198

She called him Ixtla Octli


The Black Bull 209

God of seduction, pain and plaisir


The Castillo 226

Our wedding of Eros and Despair


What I Still Wanted to Say 241


A Thank-You Note 247


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Language English ● Format EPUB ● Pages 280 ● ISBN 9781933527949 ● File size 3.2 MB ● Publisher Turtle Point Press ● Published 2017 ● Downloadable 24 months ● Currency EUR ● ID 5519017 ● Copy protection Adobe DRM
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