‘I was dramatically shaped by my grandmother and my aunts because they convinced me there was always a cookie available. Deep down inside I’m four years old, and I wake up and think out there, there’s a cookie. Every morning I’m going, you know, either it can be baked or it’s already been bought, but it’s in a jar . . . somewhere. . . .’ — Newt Gingrich in 1994,
from his Renewing American Civilization Lecture Series
Picking up where its hilarious predecessor left off, this wickedly witty new treasure trove of outbursts, bon mots, and miscalculations draws from every corner of the political arena: foreign affairs, the White House, the scandals, the media, the campaign trail, and more. The laughs come from politicians past and present, including Republican presidential hopefuls Bob (‘I don’t think I’m mean. I don’t throw things at my wife or staff.’) Dole and Phil (‘I’m carrying so much pork I’m beginning to get trichinosis.’) Gramm.
David Olive proves beyond a doubt that oral ineptitude knows no political affiliation, and that even history’s most revered politicians could, at times, put foot firmly in mouth.
The great Sir Thomas More once said, ‘Anyone who deliberately tries to get himself elected to public office is permanently disqualified from holding one.’ After reading this priceless compendium, we’re sure you’ll agree. Or perhaps President Clinton’s campaign adviser, Paul Begala, put it best: ‘Politics is show business for ugly people.’
‘Well, I don’t have much job security.’ — Bill Clinton, on why he still plays the saxophone
‘If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.’ — Hillary Clinton
‘I understand my critics are fixated and pathologically disoriented, but they are my opponents. Why should I try to correct them?’ — Newt Gingrich
‘We’ve never had a president named Bob. And I think it’s time.’ — Bob Dole
‘I’ve got a lot to learn about Washington. Why, yesterday I accidentally spent some of my own money.’ — Senator Fred Thompson
‘Let me win the election and after that you come ask me questions about how I run a government.’ — Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien
‘Last year I was Bambi, this year Stalin. From Disneyland to dictatorship in twelve short months.’ — British Labor Party Leader Tony Blair
Table of Content
On the Campaign Trail.
The Domestic Front.
Bill Clinton and the Stature Gap.
The Hillary Factor.
The Bobster: Mr.
Dole Goes to Washington.
The Ides of Newt.
Gramm-Standing.
Guru Madness.
Foreign Affairs.
That Whiff of Scandal.
Better Left Unsaid.
Invective and Ridicule.
Media Relations.
Take This Job and Shove It.
Explications.
Post Partum.
Index to Quoted Sources.
About the author
DAVID OLIVE is an award-winning journalist whose business articles and book reviews are published widely. Editor of the Globe and Mail’s Report on Business magazine, he is the author of the bestsellers Business Babble, Political Babble, and Canadian Political Babble (all available from Wiley).
BARRY BLITT is a political cartoonist and illustrator whose work appears regularly in The New York Times, Time, Newsweek, The New Yorker, Rolling Stone, Sports Illustrated, and other publications.
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