Gary Greenfield 
Idiotz #1 [EPUB ebook] 

Harold Melman wanted nothing more than to break a long-standing family curse and successfully serve his country in the armed forces. Unfortunately, his clumsiness and lack of wit prevent any branch from taking him. After getting kicked out of Harry’s Boot Camp & Nail Salon (in spite of his lovely cuticles!), Melman gathers a mismatched band of wannabe heroes to fight the good fight – for those who are too dumb to fight it themselves.