To the unsuspecting, wearing a stethoscope could not be more easy. You pick it up, place it around your neck and…hey presto…you look like you know what you are doing and people think you are a doctor…This is the no-nonsense guide to the reality of medical student life. Everything you need to know is here. What are my chances of delivering a baby? How many questions should I ask? How do I insert a nasogastric tube without the patient knowing it’s my first time? Where will I live when I’m on clinical rounds? Why can’t I wear trainers? Will patients like me? What is a patient’s ‘pack year’ history? How do I break bad news? How can I get more sleep? And much, much more.