Summary of Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High – A Comprehensive Summary
While the phrase “crucial conversation” might conjure up images of important officials gathered in conference rooms, the authors mean it to refer to the dialogues we engage in, every day of our lives. Three things come together to forge a crucial conversation, which is a discussion involving two or more people: opposing opinions, strong emotions, and high stakes.
Typically, people handle these kinds of conversations in three ways: they avoid them, they face them and handle them poorly, or they face them and handle them well. Of those three choices, who would not choose the third option, to handle them well? And yet, it usually goes the other way: usually, when we get into “crucial” territory, we bring out our worst behavior.
The authors claim that this is because we are designed incorrectly, which means we do not know what to do when a conversation slides out of casual territory. When we hear someone say something that we disagree with, our body reacts in a hostile manner, pumping adrenaline through our veins and diverting blood from the brain. Worse, we are not usually…
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