Table des matières
Preface xv
Acknowledgments xix
Introduction xxv
Chapter 1 The Elephant in the Room 1
Grandparents’ Checks 2
When Giving Becomes an Opportunity 4
Chapter 2 The Spirit of the Gift 7
Where the Spirit Leads 11
The Who of Giving
Chapter 3 Becoming a Wise Giver 17
Know Thyself 18
How Much? 21
Guilt and Remorse 24
Nothing Too Much 26
Chapter 4 Receiving Wisely 29
A Bad Investment? 30
The Psychological Stages of Giving 32
Giving and the Work Ethic 36
Not Yet 39
Meteors and Resilience 41
Investing in Recipients 44
Chapter 5 Spouses 47
Learning from Yourselves and Each Other 47
Three-Step Process 48
Blended Families 50
Prenuptial Discussions 51
Fiscal Unequals 54
Chapter 6 Grandparents 57
Grandparents’ Great Opportunity 57
Involving Parents 58
Grandparents and Philanthropy 61
Chapter 7 Trustees 67
The Choice of Trustee 67
The Type of Trustee 69
The Relationship between Beneficiary and Trustee 69
A Regenerative Role 74
Chapter 8 Elders 77
Intergenerational Dynamics 78
Growing Elders 79
The Work of Elders 81
The How of Giving
Chapter 9 Control versus Freedom 87
The Myth of the Free Gift 87
Cui Bono? 88
The Giving of Accounts 90
Letting Be 92
Chapter 10 Fair versus Equal, Separate versus Together 97
The Balancing Act 98
Pot Shots 100
Flourishing 102
Promises 103
Chapter 11 Giving Outright, via Loans, or in Trust? 107
Options 108
Sharing the Spirit 108
Making Loans Work 109
Why Trusts? 110
The Family Bank 113
Form versus Function 115
The What and Why of Giving
Chapter 12 What Families Give 121
Homes 121
Business Interests 125
Values 131
Rituals 134
Reputation 136
Chapter 13 The Why of Giving 141
Why Not 142
The Family Tree 144
Giving Thanks 146
About the Authors 151
Index 155