Jeffrey A. Kottler & Jon Carlson 
On Being a Master Therapist [EPUB ebook] 
Practicing What You Preach

Preface ix
Introduction: Two Variations on a Theme 1
1 What Is a Master Therapist Anyway–And How Do You Get to Be One? 11
What Is a Master Therapist? 13
Different Standards of Mastery 15
Client and Therapist Perceptions of Outcomes 18
Definitions of Mastery by Experts on the Subject 20
2 What We (Think We) Know So Far 25
A Movement Toward Consensus 25
What Does Make a Difference? 28
Talking to the Masters 34
What Famous Therapists Appear to Have in Common 38
3 Deep Compassion and Caring 45
Creating Connections 46
Commitment and Investment 52
The Growth Edge 57
4 Sophisticated Interpersonal Skills: Really, Really Listening 61
‘How’d You Do That?’ 65
Little Things Make a Huge Difference 68
Listening Differently 71
Being in the Moment 74
5 Being Fully Present While Focusing on the Other 75
Altered States of Being 79
Mind Chatter 80
A Way of Being 84
Staying Present With Ourselves 87
6 Knowing What Maybe/Probably/Mostly Makes a Difference89
What Makes a Difference? 91
Beyond Understanding: Honoring Magic and Mystery 108
7 Speaking the Truth 111
Lies in Therapy 112
Confronting Deception 113
Hard Truths 118
Taking Risks and Exploring the Unknown 123
8 Making Mistakes–But Not the Same Ones Over and Over 127
Making Mistakes Isn’t the Problem 128
Practicing Self-Compassion 133
Most Common Mistakes 136
Mistakes or Just Data to Process? 141
9 Inviting and Responding to Constructive Feedback143
Sources of Feedback 148
Clients Are the Best Teachers 149
Feedback That’s Most Helpful 150
Processing Feedback Gratefully 151
Being Accountable to Ourselves, Our Colleagues, and Our Clients153
Life-Changing Feedback 157
Recruiting Master Coaches and Mentors 158
How We Know What We Know 165
10 Who You Are Is as Important as What You Do 167
Who We Are Versus What We Do 168
Qualities of Master Therapists 169
Practicing Self-Compassion 175
Modeling As Best We Can 176
11 Acknowledging Commonalities, Responding to Differences181
Multiple Cultural Identities 182
An Individual’s Multiplicity of Cultures 183
What We Share in Common 188
Metabolizing Theory and Embracing Complexity 189
12 Love Is a Four-Letter Word in Therapy 193
Multiple Dimensions of Caring 194
Owning Our Personal Motives 196
Learning How to Love 197
Love Is Always Possible 199
13 Getting Wild and a Little Crazy: Promoting Creative Breakthroughs 205
When Models and Theories Limit Our Creative Options 206
Sorting Out All the Voices in Our Heads 209
On Being Creative 211
Seeking New Knowledge While Embracing Mystery 214
You’ve Never Heard of the Most Creative Therapists 218
Thinking Differently About Problems 221
Where Has Creativity Gone? 224
14 Promoting Social Interest and Advocacy 227
Who Has Time for This? 228
Real Master Therapists in Action 229
Consistent Themes Related to Advocacy Efforts 236
Let’s Be Honest, Really Honest 237
Full Circle 240
15 Being a Work in Progress 243
A Voracious Curiosity 244
Confronting Despair Versus Hope 246
What Has Been Most Helpful Along the Way 250
What Has Been Least Helpful Along the Way 257
It’s About Relationships, Not Content 259
Mastery Means Being Able to Accept Mystery 261
Epilogue 265
References 267
About the Authors 279
Index 281

JEFFREY A. KOTTLER, Ph D, is Professor of Counseling at California State University, Fullerton and Founder of Empower Nepali Girls, an organization that provides educational scholarships for at-risk children in Nepal.
JON CARLSON, Psy.D, Ed.D, is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Counseling at Governors State University, University Park, Illinois and a psychologist with the Wellness Clinic in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.