No matter how committed two people are to being together, why can’t they get away from feeling something is missing?
In this important and transformative guide, three experienced practitioners identify the widespread dysfunctional dynamic they call ‘irrelationship, ‘ a psychological defense system two people create together to protect themselves from the fear and anxiety of real intimacy in a relationship.
Drawing on their wide clinical and life experience, the authors examine behavioral ‘song-and-dance routines’ repeatedly performed by couples affected by irrelationship. Readers will find a valuable framework for understanding their challenges with action-oriented tools to help them navigate their way to fulfilling relationships.
Mark B. Borg, Jr., Ph D, is a community psychologist and psychoanalyst, and a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute.
Grant H. Brenner, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist in private practice, specializing in treating mood and anxiety disorders and the complex problems that may arise in adulthood from childhood trauma and loss.
Daniel Berry, RN, MHA, has practiced as a Registered Nurse in New York City since 1987 and has worked for almost two decades in community-based programs.
Table des matières
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Introduction
Using this Book
Part One: Irrelationship on Stage—Your Song-and-Dance Routine
Chapter 1: Anatomy of Irrelationship
Chapter 2: Performer or Audience?
Chapter 3: Short-Circuiting the Possibility of Love
Chapter 4: The Threat of Intimacy
Part Two: Getting to Know You—Spotlight on the Performer and the Audience
Chapter 5: The Performer—Intuition Backfiring into Isolation
Chapter 6: The Audience—Resisting Care
Part Three: Backstage—The Inner Workings of Irrelationship
Chapter 7: Patterns and Pitfalls
Chapter 8: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Adulthood
Part Four: Raise the Curtain on Recovery—From
Irrelationship to Real Relationship
Chapter 9: Brand New World
Chapter 10: The DREAM Sequence—Step-by-Step Recovery
Chapter 11: Living the DREAM
Chapter 12: Zoe and Victor Break Free
Part Five: Encore—Cracked Open for Love
Chapter 13: Cracked Open at Last
An Invitation from the Authors
Chapter Notes
Bibliography
About the Authors
A propos de l’auteur
Mark B. Borg: Mark B. Borg, Jr., Ph.D. is a community psychologist and psychoanalyst, founding partner of The Community Consulting Group, and a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute.
Grant H Brenner: Grant H. Brenner, MD is a board-certified psychiatrist in private practice, specializing in treating mood and anxiety disorders and the complex problems that may arise in adulthood from childhood trauma and loss.
Daniel Berry: Daniel Berry, RN, MHA has practiced as a Registered Nurse in New York City since 1987. He is currently the Assistant Director of Nursing for Risk Management at a public hospital serving homeless and undocumented victims of street violence, drug addiction, and severe traumatic injuries.
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