Auteur: Ross Patterson

Who the shit am I? A Lover. A fighter. A door-to-door used sweater salesman. I »m that dude who doesn »t pull out with strangers, especially on vacation, and I »ve been to Cozumel. That »s in Mexico. If you feel jealous after reading that, you should be. Mexico is rad. I take a 3 day vacation twice a year there, and I don »t pack boxers. But that »s just me, you know? Hardcore. I once babysat a kid who just graduated college. My best attribute is that I »m trustworthy. I »ll go through your medicine cabinet to make sure you »ve never been injured in a car accident though. I »ll watch you sleep for weeks on end outside your house just because I can. I »ll give your dog a Snickers bar if I feel like « he »s not being himself ». This is who I am. This is my life. If this is too hot for you, rewire all the electrical outlets inside your kitchen.