Once described as the worst golfer never to have won a major, Mortimer Merriweather is a complex character with virtually nothing to show for 60 years of golf at the lowest level.
Decades of abject failure to strike the ball properly undoubtedly fuelled his frustration and led ultimately to him venting his ire on individuals, companies and organisations connected with the game of golf in this remarkable series of 100 letters.
The result is this hilarious book of his bizarre, insulting, unsettling and plain mad golfing ideas, all sent to famous hapless recipients, illustrated with occasional cartoons.
‘Clive Agran is golf’s funniest writer.’ – John Hopkins, The Times
Daftar Isi
British Trust for Ornithology 9
Prince Harry 11
Mayor of Tunbridge Wells 12
Sir Nick Faldo 14
R&A Rules Adjudicating Committee 15
North Face 16
Mr Disney 18
President Putin 19
Sunningdale 21
Chubby Chandler 22
Taylor Made 23
US Masters Organising Committee 25
Jon Rahm 27
Justin Thomas 28
Scottish Tourist Board 29
Bernhard Langer 31
Lloyd’s of London 32
Professional Golfers Association of America 34
St George’s Hill 35
Prostatitis Sufferers’ Association 36
Penguin Books 38
Muirfield 39
Prince Andrew 40
Supreme Leader of North Korea 41
Royal St George’s 43
Jeremy Corbyn 44
League Against Cruel Sports 45
Pope 47
Ewen Murray 49
St Andrews 50
Dr Ping 52
Head of Bombing 48th Fighter Wing, RAF 53
GCSE Examination Board 54
British Psychiatric Association 56
Challenge Tour 59
Mr Callaway 60
Communist Party of Great Britain 62
Chairman of the International Olympic Committee 63
Messrs Royal and Ancient 65
Acushnet 66
William Hill 67
Rishi Sunak 69
Wentworth 71
British Museum 73
American Golf 74
Armitage Shanks 76
St Andrews Golf Museum 77
Sotheby’s 78
Head Greenkeeper at Royal Troon 79
Tee Distributor 80
Lewis Hamilton 82
Ryder Cup Organiser 83
Augusta National 84
Open Championship Venue Selection Committee 85
Roland Mc Donald 87
Desert Island Discs 88
Institute for Dream Studies 89
Met Office 91
António Guterres 92
Rolex 94
Archers’ Producer 95
Pfizer 96
Eton College Headmaster 97
European Tour 98
Guinness 100
Footjoy 102
Andy Murray 103
Michael O’Leary 105
DJ Spoony 106
Office Furniture Manufacturer 107
Sky Sports 109
Dalai Lama 111
JP Mc Manus 112
Novak Djokovic 113
LGBT Foundation 115
President Bolsonaro 116
DP World Tour 117
Mike Ashley 119
Black Lives Matter 120
Head of the Nobel Prize Committee 122
HM The Queen 123
Xi Jinping 125
Executors of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth 126
Principal Trainer of Sniffer Dogs 128
Golf Monthly Magazine 129
Talent Agency 131
Ali Khamenei 132
Barry Hearn 134
Royal Mail 136
Head of Sport, BBC Television 138
Colin Montgomerie 140
Andrew ‘Beef’ Johnston 141
European Ryder Cup Committee 143
Greg Norman 145
Robert Trent Jones, Jnr 146
Jimmy Tarbuck 149
President Donald Trump 150
Mystery Shopping Company 152
Editor of the Times 154
Last Will And Testament 156
Merlin Unwin Books 158
Tentang Penulis
Clive Agran is known for his regular contributions to all the top golf magazines in the UK including Today’s Golfer, National Club Golfer, Golf Monthly and Golf News. For several years he had a regular opinion column in Golf Monthly before switching his allegiance to Golf International.
His style is light-hearted and whimsical and his columns are always amusing.
His popularity spread overseas through his regular features in Sports Illustrated and Kingdom in the USA, Golf Digest Middle East and Swing (Singapore). He has also written for travelgolf.com, worldgolf.com, Golfshake and The World’s Greatest Golf Destinations.
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