night. It was around midnight and we strained our ears to hear, hardly daring to breathe. And there it was a kind of crunch, crunch, crunching sound.’ John’s life as a travelling brocanteur (antiques dealer) in rural France is decidedly less colourful as his unscrupulous yet affable partner in crime, Serge Bastarde, marries and decamps to Martinique. But, like a bad penny, Serge returns, his personal life in tatters. What follows is a madcap adventure which sees John being coerced into striking deals with the Romanian ‘mafia ‘, re-roofing a huge Basque house and getting trapped in a skip in the dead of night, while Serge rides an emotional roller coaster. Serge may be as faux as some of his antiques but, with John’s help, he eventually strikes gold in this laugh-out-loud romp.