Research-based advice for people who care for someone with
dementia
Nearly half of U.S. citizens over the age of 85 are suffering
from some kind of dementia and require care. Loving Someone
Who Has Dementia is a new kind of caregiving book. It’s
not about the usual techniques, but about how to manage on-going
stress and grief. The book is for caregivers, family members,
friends, neighbors as well as educators and
professionals–anyone touched by the epidemic of dementia. Dr.
Boss helps caregivers find hope in ‘ambiguous loss’–having a
loved one both here and not here, physically present but
psychologically absent.
* Outlines seven guidelines to stay resilient while caring for
someone who has dementia
* Discusses the meaning of relationships with individuals who are
cognitively impaired and no longer as they used to be
* Offers approaches to understand and cope with the emotional
strain of care-giving
Boss’s book builds on research and clinical experience, yet the
material is presented as a conversation. She shows you a way to
embrace rather than resist the ambiguity in your relationship with
someone who has dementia.
Table of Content
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xiii
Introduction xv
1 The Ambiguous Loss of Dementia: How
Absence and Presence Coexist 1
2 The Complications of Both Loss
and Grief 21
3 Stress, Coping, and Resiliency 37
4 The Myth of Closure 55
5 The Psychological Family 71
6 Family Rituals, Celebrations, and
Gatherings 91
7 Seven Guidelines for the Journey 109
8 Delicious Ambiguity 137
9 The Good-Enough Relationship 155
Conclusion 167
A Note to Caregivers About Working
with Health Care Professionals 173
Resources 181
Notes 187
About the Author 215
Index 217
About the author
Pauline Boss, Ph D, is emeritus professor at the University of Minnesota and was visiting professor at Harvard Medical School, 1995-1996, and Hunter School of Social Work, 2004-2005. She is best known for her groundbreaking research as the pioneer theorist and clinical practitioner of stress reduction for people whose loved ones are ambiguously lost.