Shifty Speech and Independent Thought is a manifesto for epistemic independence: the independence of good thinking from practical considerations. Mona Simion defends the independence of thought from the most prominent threat that has surfaced in the last twenty years of epistemological theorizing: the phenomenon of shiftiness of proper assertoric speech with practical context. This study does four things: firstly, it shows that, against orthodoxy, the argument from practical shiftiness of proper assertoric speech against the independence of proper thought from the practical does not go through, for it rests on normative ambiguation. Secondly, it defends a proper functionalist knowledge account of the epistemic normativity of assertion, in conjunction with classical invariantism about knowledge attributions. Thirdly, it develops the first integrated account of the normativity of constative speech. Lastly, it defends detailed normative accounts for conjecturing, telling, and moral assertion.