Most people internalize what they have been told about who they are and what they should want, not realizing how strongly it influences their decision-making. For women especially, it could inhibit their ability to successfully negotiate their relationships, careers, and futures. Carrying around cultural baggage of mixed messages, women are told in the same breath to go out and ask for what they want, but at the same time not be too assertive. These contradictory narratives, Fisher-Yoshida demonstrates, lead many women to wonder: Am I good enough? Do I have enough experience?
Yet, women continue to break the mold as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies and representatives at the highest levels of government. What makes the difference? After interviewing more than 100 women at different stages of their careers about how they negotiate, in and out of the office, Fisher-Yoshida concluded that negotiation outcomes are often decided before getting to the table. The self-talk women engage in is one of the best predictors of their outcomes. In addition to personal insights and firsthand accounts, Fisher-Yoshida shares no-nonsense steps for disrupting negative self-talk and instead using that inner voice to channel better outcomes. With greater self-awareness women can change the stories by which they live and negotiate.
Cuprins
INTRODUCTION: Women and Negotiation 1
Part 1: The Stories We Live by 19
CHAPTER 1: The Stories We Tell 21
CHAPTER 2: How Words Affect Our Brains 37
CHAPTER 3: Stories That Stick 51
Part 2: Context Matters 65
CHAPTER 4: Negotiating in the Workplace: Organizations as Systems 67
CHAPTER 5: Negotiating in Our Families: Families as Systems 83
CHAPTER 6: Negotiating Personal Friendships and Romantic Relationships 101
CHAPTER 7: Negotiating Outside of Work and Family 119
CHAPTER 8: Negotiating Compromising Situations 129
Part 3: Navigating the Future 137
CHAPTER 9: Lessons to Take with You: Negotiation Preparation 139
CHAPTER 10: Lessons to Take with You: Negotiation Process 167
CHAPTER 11: Lessons to Take with You: Post Negotiation 175
CHAPTER 12: Going Forward 181
Part 4: Case Studies 191
CHAPTER 13: Case Study 1: Internal or External Hire? 193
CHAPTER 14: Case Study 2: How Do We Take Care of Father? 215
CHAPTER 15: Case Study 3: Should I Stay or Should I Go? 235
Despre autor
Beth Fisher-Yoshida has been at Columbia University since the late 1990s and has formally worked in the area of negotiation for about 30 years. Fisher-Yoshida’s practice has included executive coaching and training to better prepare people for their professional negotiations. She holds two master’s degrees, one in special education and the other in organizational development. Her Ph D is in human and organizational systems.
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