Two Christian counselors share their personal triumph over sexual addiction and a path to freedom. A raw and honest discussion about why Christian men can struggle so desperately with pornography and sexual addiction. Written by addicts in successful recovery—for those seeking recovery.• Based on more than two decades of work with Christian men in the U.S. and many parts of the world. A unique and powerful blend of clinical and personal recovery experience, written especially for those who have tried to break free but keep falling back into addiction. “From the crucible of extensive and at times painful ‘spiritual combat’ experience, Mark and Steve are ‘special forces’ instructors who train ‘Christian soldiers’—youth and adults alike, not only how to survive—but how to win against the enemy’s deadly Goliath-like weapon system . . . pornography. Their Christ-centered, scripturally-anchored, and practical anti-porn training informs the reader how to effectively up-armor, protect himself, and win the battle against porn. The battle-tested skills and insights impressively found in this book make it a must read and an invaluable resource for every Christian father and mother, pastor and priest, Chaplain, pastoral counselor and teacher. And to those already a battle casualty to porn, the authors provide sterling pastoral care and counseling, competent compassion and hope, recovery and healing through the atoning grace of Christ.” –CHAPLAIN (COLONEL) MARK L. ALLISON, President & Founder, World Spiritual Health Organization (WSHO)
Cuprins
Section One: The Problem
1 Our Stories: The Journey from Sexual Addiction to Freedom
2 Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Cultural Confusion About Sex
3 Our Sex-Saturated Society is a Set-Up
4 Sexual Shame In A Religious Culture
5 We’re Outside Christ’s Circle, Trying to Earn Our Way Back In
6 Sexually Obsessed: Sex as a Substitute for Connection With Others
7 The Funnel: The Science Behind Why We Act Out Sexually
8 Pornography Use is Substance Abuse
9 Am I Beyond Saving?
10 Sexual Addiction is Not About Sex!
11 Using Sex as a Means to Cope With Trauma
12 The Avoidance Cycle: Why Trying Harder Doesn’t Work
13 How You’re Fighting is Part of the Problem
14 “God and I Can Handle This Just Fine” . . . Really?
15 The Doctor Will See You Now, But Are You Willing to See Him?
16 The More You Drink Salt Water, the More You Thirst
17 Sexual Addiction is an Intimacy Disorder
Section Two: The Solution
1 The Role of Acceptance and Willingness in Lasting Recovery
2 The Gift of Grace: The Power Behind Your Recovery
3 Establishing Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Boundaries With Yourself
4 Connecting In Healthy Ways: Setting Boundaries With Others
5 You are NOT Your Brain!
6 Clearing Away the Wreckage of Your Past
7 Walking Through Walls: Healing the Core Causes of Addiction
8 Ego-Brain Tendencies vs. Eternal Self Attributes
9 Holding Yourself Accountable While Accepting Your Humanity
10 Stop Doing It Your Way—To Win, You Must Surrender!
11 Recovery Requires Real Connection
12 Taking the Fight to the Enemy
13 Creating Your Battle Plan for Successful Recovery
Additional Resources
For the Spouse of An Addict
Can Our Marriage Survive?
Help for Spiritual Leaders