Recently divorced after having been married/with the same man for 18 years, Liss enters the world of online dating using Match.com. She writes about the men she encounters and confronts ugly truths about herself and the realities of internet dating in this horror-comedy.
Part memoir and part middle-age ’coming of age’ there is a reckoning of past trauma with present situations, the search for love and defining self worth.
Set in the Pacific Northwest, with a diverse cast of characters from farmers to professionals to addicts and animals including two draft horses, she reflects on how the world has changed in the past 18 years since she was last single.
Innehållsförteckning
ACT I HOW MUCH SHIT CAN YOU TAKE?
1 The Humbling Second Job
2 FAPC & Threesomes
3 Gaslighting
4 Dogs
5 Giant Horses
6 Coal Black Cats
7 Where To Live
8 Thank God For Girlfriends
9 Inner Sped Teacher (IST) & Be That Man (BTM)
10 Why Is Cheating Always The Final Straw?
ACT II THE MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSH
11 Boogie Junction
12 100 Years Of Solitude
13 Trying To Pick Up The Bartender – WTF???
14 Couples… Hmmm.
ACT III WRAP FORMULA & MATCH.COM
15 Decisive – WRAP Formula
16 Single-dom Fear Vs. Married Misery
17 Toilet Selfie
18 I Am Just As Shallow As Everyone Else
19 Big Daddy Bear Has Made You His Favorite!
20 Dating Coaches
ACT IV Who ARE These Guys?
21 I’m Not Ready For A Relationship
22 Dean
23 I Need To Do Me & I Can’t Do Flakey
24 So… What Do You Like In Bed, Specifically?
25 The Template Husband Who Is A Girlfriend
26 My First Match.com Date
27 The Artistic Soul Mate
28 A Produce Display Is So Much Like Dating
29 Booty Wobble Boogie
ACT V MAN WHORE
30 Send Me A Picture!!!
31 Is He A Man Whore?
32 Arcade Games
33 The Shame Spiral
34 Another ’Date’ With Bert
35 The Newfound Joy Of Sexting
36 Pets Ruining My Sex Life; Brazilian Restaurants
37 The Morning After
ACT VI WHO IS MONOGAMOUS THESE DAYS?
38 Sweet Salsa, Addiction & The Age Thing
39 He’s Not Into Monogamy
40 Sex And Politics
41 Will I Crash Or Is This The New Normal?1
42 Party Like It’s 1999
43 The Friend Who Says What You Need To Hear
44 Easy Unsafe Sex & Hard Talk About Safe Sex
45 Crack Sex Brain – CSB
46 Vaporize
47 Confusion And Maybe I Should Be A Lesbian
48 Insecurity
49 Face Band Aids
50 Natural Beauty Is A Crock Of Shit
51 Starving Cat
52 Will The Real Man Whore Step Up?
ACT VII WILL I CRASH?
53 Our Birthdays & Lame Ass Guys
54 ’Tarzan’ & The Age Thing
55 Cock Shots
56 A Great Sexless Weekend
57 What Do You Think About God & Hot Sex
58 Sex At Dawn
59 Doctor Visit: Gods & Mortals
60 Is 3 or 4 Too Many? & Red Velvet Cupcakes
61 Saying Goodbye To Addiction
62 Weird Weekend With Bert
63 Bad Mommy – We Don’t Want Another Daddy!!!
ACT VIII KINDA SORTA DATING TWO MEN
YET I’M ALONE
64 Elusive Slippery Men
65 Confronting Bert
66 Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Am I A Slut?
67 Family History Lesson At Thanksgiving
68 Back To School Relationship Homework
69 Al-Anon
70 Duh Again And Insecurity
71 Conversation With My Friend’s Ex
72 Reframing
73 Sadly I’m Basically Straight
ACT IX INSTA-FAMILY
74 The Musician
75 Hope Floats Eternal
76 Trying To Keep Options Open
77 Flags
78 A Hopeful Solstice & Christmas
79 Just Friends Now
80 Sex With Sean
81 Shit Storm
ACT X DADDY DISNEYLAND,
FUCKING VALENTINE’S DAY & CHEATING
82 Daddy Di…
Om författaren
I have 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 horses. I trail ride. I am an artist. I drink moderately. I enjoy cursing when I can get away with it. My family is really, really cool – and I’m close to them. I am spiritual but not religious. I like long walks on the beaches and warm candlelight dinners. I love to clean (lie) and am a gourmet cook (sorta) and a vagabond in the bedroom (don’t get the wrong idea, I am also an innocent virgin if that’s what you like).
If you are a guy who says that you are a simple guy – I am not going to like you. While I don’t want a CRAZY guy, a simple guy sounds really boring to me and you will bore me.
OK – it’s nice that you hunt and fish… but what are you trying to prove with yourself and all of those dead animals? That you are a good provider and that you can bring home the bacon? My cats easily catch more pounds of meat per year with their offerings of large rats, mice and birds than you do with your little string of fish.
Do I sound bitter? Crazy? I am. And you know what? I have only started doing online dating two months ago.
I hope it doesn’t get worse from here.
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