Medical Misadventures is a glimpse behind the curtain, exposing the torments of a doctor when things don’t go as expected. The consequences are often humorous, sometimes embarassing, and occasionally downright humiliating. I have experienced them all!
But sometimes fortune smiles, the stars align and our prayers are answered. Those are the miraculous events that medical science cannot explain. They remind us that the art of medicine is still important and that hope is never extinguished.
Today I said good-bye to my genie. ‘We have been inseparable for over fifty years, ‘ I said, ‘but the time has come to part ways. You have bedevilled my life for too long. Granted, at times you have exposed my flaws and I have benefitted. And it is true that you have also shown me wonders that I thought impossible. But you have embarrassed and humiliated me too often. I have retired from medicine and I no longer need you. You must leave me and torment someone else.’
‘Not so!’ he retorted, ‘my mission is not over; you will never be rid of me; I will plague you in your dreams and in your pensive moments. I have much yet to teach you and you have no choice but to listen.’
So my genie lives on, perched on my shoulder, waiting for my unguarded moments. He invades my dreams, deflates my pride, reminds me of events I would prefer to forget.
Table of Content
Misleading Moments and Cautionary Confessions
The Wrong Wife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 A Snake Got into the Act . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 A Diagnostic Triumph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 Munchausen’s Syndrome . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 A Most Discreet Patient . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 A Visit to the Doctor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Memorable Characters, and a Dog
In Memory of Garm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Mary B. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 He Missed! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Three Jewish Daughters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .51 Joe, We Need You! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Morbid Tales and Lessons for Living
The Longest Half-Hour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 The Absurdity of Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 A Time to Die . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 To Live Long or to Live Well? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
A Beating Heart in a Warm Corpse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Medical Mysteries, Prayer, and Providence
Suspended Animation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Near-Death Experiences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 I Have Seen a Miracle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Therapeutic Prayer: Harold’s Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123 The Healing Power of Prayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129 Comments on ‘The Healing Power of Prayer’ . . . . . . . . . . . .137
C O N T E N T S
Maladies of Aging, Enduring Memories
The Aging Brain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .147
Clock and Carriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .155
Middle-East Adventures, Surviving Solitude
The Last Sperm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .163
Our Battle against Dehydration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
Mischief-Makers, Private and Peculiar
Labelling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .183
A Minor Procedure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
About the author
Arnold Tweed grew up on a farm in southern Manitoba, went to High School in Killarney, and studied science at Brandon College. His early ambition was to return to the farm, but he got side-tracked and graduated with an MD from the University of Manitoba in 1964. Since then his medical career has included general practice, emergency medicine, intensive care and anesthesiology as well as attempts at medical research, teaching and medical administration. Never having abandoned his early love of the carefree country life, he has traveled widely and worked in many countries: Canada, Denmark, Singapore, New Zealand, Oman, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, and Nepal. He claims that a search for adventure was the motivating force, and he has not been disappointed. This set of stories highlights some of the unusual patients and medical surprises he has encountered.
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