Millions of men and women now spend huge amounts of time watching internet porn at all times of the day and night. There is much evidence to show that for many men, and women, it is an uncontrollable addiction, which is having desperate consequences for relationships and families, and employment across the UK and Europe. Many men now find sex with a woman a disappointment, compared with watching pornography, either on DVD, their mobile phones, on TV or on the internet. Women find their men shallow, uninteresting and underperforming, compared to the he-man image portrayed in chat rooms, on dating sites, on TV, in glossy magazines, and in porno movies.
When you hit the rewind button, they’re not actually doing it again, and again, and again. There is a limit to the number of times you can do this in real life, but not in the make-believe world of internet porn. And quite often, that’s where the confusion lies. The internet is a false world made real by repetition. It doesn’t make you, or your partner super-human, and it doesn’t make either of you a failure either.
One of the quickest ways to end up in a low-sex, no-sex marriage or partnership, is to engage in watching pornography. The blame, shame, guilt trips that come from watching porn and then not feeling like you can keep up, sees partners blaming each other, shaming each other, guilt-tripping, or coercing each other, and that soon makes for one hell of a bad marriage.
Are you heading in that direction? Are you already there? Is that why you find yourself reading this page?
Don’t blame yourself. Pornography is as addictive as heroin, even more so, and you don’t have to go to some seedy bar or back street to get it. Hardcore porn is now legally sold and downloaded to your mobile devices and home computers, and it has been the internet that has made this all possible, affordable, and anonymous, instantly with the click of a mouse. Bingo! You have an instant fantasy world at your fingertips that get into your brain through your eyes. Before you know it, you become addicted to porn and can think of little else. It’s not unusual for porn addicts to watch 25-30hrs of porn per week. Add that on to a working week and it’s no wonder that families and partners are losing out big time.
Let me ask you these eight questions and see how many ‘yeses’ and ‘noes’ apply to you.
Do you find yourself thinking about internet porn a lot of the time?
Have you tried repeatedly, or made a number of unsuccessful attempts to control, cut back, or stop your internet use?
Do you find you need to use the internet longer and longer in order to achieve the same satisfaction?
Do you feel anxious, moody, depressed, or irritable when deprived of your internet access for any length of time?
Do you feel anxious, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to regulate your internet use?
Once online, do you stay connected for longer than you originally intended?
If someone like your partner, children, or boss saw what you were looking at online, would you feel embarrassed?
Have you ever felt that being caught looking at the sites you visit could cost you your relationship, job, or liberty?
Do you lie to others about the length of time, or the sites you visit, when on the internet?
Do you use the internet to provide a way to escape your troubles or worries or any feelings of depression, or anxiety?
If you have more yes than no’s then this book is for you
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