As a former Mormon missionary, author Johnny Townsend understands LDS mission culture. In these stories, a young missionary can’t get permission to see a doctor about the lump on his testicle until he can convince his mission president he isn’t masturbating. A sadistic mission leader torments a young missionary. A sister missionary fulfills her community service requirement by babysitting for a prostitute.
Two bored missionaries decide to make a little extra money moonlighting in a male strip club. Two frustrated elders find an acceptable way to masturbate-by donating to a Fertility Clinic. A lonely man searches for the favorite companion he hasn’t seen in thirty years.
And if you want even more missionary tales, check out Townsend’s fictionalized memoir of his own mission, A Gay Mormon Missionary in Pompeii, and his novels Wake Up and Smell the Missionaries and Have Your Cum and Eat It, Too.
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I Know What You Did Last P-Day
Missionary Gaydar
A Problem at the Factory
Getting My Companion Laid
The Couples Mission
Seductive Reasoning
Two-Transfer Mission
Under the Covers
Helping the Hookers
Movie Night with the Missionaries
Missionaries by Moonlight
Starting a Leper Colony
Miracle at the Salt Lake City International Airport
Donating to a Good Cause
Prayer Circle Jerk
The Chains of Paradise
The Danish Danite
Swimming in the Sound
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A climate crisis immigrant who relocated from New Orleans to Seattle in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, Johnny Townsend wrote the first account of the Up Stairs Lounge fire, an attack on a French Quarter gay bar which killed 32 people in 1973. He was an associate producer for the documentary Upstairs Inferno, for the sci-fi film Time Helmet, and for the deaf gay short Flirting, with Possibilities. His books include Please Evacuate, Racism by Proxy, and Wake Up and Smell the Missionaries. His novel, Orgy at the STD Clinic, set entirely on public transit, details political extremism, climate upheaval, and anti-maskers in the midst of a pandemic.
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