How I Lost My Mother is a deeply felt account of the relationship between a mother and son, and an exploration of what care for the dying means in contemporary society. The book is emotionally complex – funny, sad and angry – but above all, heartfelt and honest. It speaks boldly of challenges faced by all of us, challenges which are often not spoken about and hidden, but which deserve urgent attention. This is first and foremost a work of the heart, a reflection on what relationships mean and should mean. There is much in the book about relationships of care and exploitation in southern Africa, and about white Jewish identity in an African context. But despite the specific and absorbing references to places and contexts, the book offers a broader, more universal view. All parents of adult children, and all adults who have parents alive, or have lost their parents, will find much in this book to make them laugh, cry, think and feel.
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Introduction Part I: Finding Chapter 1 The Weeping Rose Chapter 2 Be sociable Chapter 3 Goodwill Chapter 4 The trouble with nerves Chapter 5 The archives Chapter 6 Nadine Gordimer, Anne Frank, Elsie Cohen and me Part II: Losing Chapter 7 Shouting loud Chapter 8 Coming home Chapter 9 Avoiding surgery Chapter 10 Closing In Chapter 11 Scar tissue Chapter 12 Care Chapter 13 What ends? Part III: Afterwords Chapter 14 Death admin Chapter 15 How I lost my mother Notes Bibliography Acknowledgements
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Leslie Swartz is a clinical psychologist and a distinguished professor of psychology at Stellenbosch University, South Africa best known for his work on disability studies, disability rights, and mental health issues. His memoir Able-Bodied: Scenes from a curious life (2010), received critical acclaim.