In this fresh collection of ‘Roughneck Grace’ columns, New York Times bestselling author and humorist Michael Perry reinforces his reputation as a writer navigating between the transcendent (‘The conga line was no longer a line, but rather a fluid knot of nearly a thousand happy children winding in and around itself throughout the aisles of the auditorium while Cyril Paul and the Calypso Monarchs played from the stage.’), the quotidian (‘Outside my window the June evening is winding down and the sunlight is goldening and the shadows are winning the lawn and the birdsongs are of the settling sort.’), and the goofy (‘I have never been hungover in my life and I’m not saying that cat was, but this was my first thought, and I went with it, imagining him down at the kitty tavern ‘til all hours, knocking back miniature beers and teensy chasers, maybe purring at some lady kitty and nudging the catnip chews her way until he remembered he’d been fixed, at which point he retreated with his beer to the jukebox, where he slumped into more serious drinking, his pupils sad and wide in the barroom gloom, his tail limp.’). Whether putting himself on roller skates for his daughter’s birthday, fixing the chicken fence, or celebrating St. Jude (‘the patron saint of fools’), Perry writes with a big heart from a small place.
Million Billion picks up where the two other collections (Roughneck Grace and From the Top) left off, and includes columns originally published between March 27, 2016 and March 25, 2018.
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INTRO
AUNT MABEL
A SMASHING SOUVENIR
DENNY DINGS DEAD END LITTERBUGS
THE FIRST WARM AIR
PRINCE AND THE PURPLE THREAD
SWING SET SMUGGLER
HEADBANGING BIRD LOVE
PLANTING BEFORE THE RAIN
OFF HOURS BAR
YOUNG AUTHORS
CHIVE BLOSSOMS
SUMMER LIGHT
TERMINAL MOWER
CHICKEN BUCKET
GENE LOGSDON
DEER STRIKE
TOM AND THE BRUSH HOG
NORB’S COOP
RE-TAKING OUT THE TRASH
HAIR BALL
THE ART OF LAUNDRY
TALKING TO MYSELF
RIDING WEST
SPLITTING PUNK
RAISIN ROOSTER
SMALL TOWN LITERATURE
VOLLEYBALL DAD
BOILED DINNER
JACKKNIFE JACKPOT
DECELERATION
BIRTHDAY BOTS
SNOT ROCKET
POST-ELECTION LEAVES
PARK THEATER
GAME CAMERA
DOG SHOW
WINTER MAYBE
PUSHUPS
SKIING
BYE-BYE BEARDIE
SNOWED IN
IDIOT DRIVER
CARIBBEAN WORK DAY
HOME FROM THE BEACH
HOME SICK
HIGH FASHION
TRUCK SNACKS
TAPPING MAPLES
FORGET IT
SAGUARO
FALLING FORWARD
POLE BARN
ROLLER SKATE AGAIN
CHICKEN FENCE
RUNNER’S WORLD
GROOVY GLASSES
ASPARAGUS AGAIN
MILLION BILLION
SLOWFOOT
GREEN DAYS
ST. JUDE
DAD SOCKS
CARDINALS
SUGAR BOMBS
SPITWAD
TENDING GARLIC
AFTER THE WINDS
CORN
CHAINSAW CHAIN
COUSIN EDDIE
SMOKY MOUNTAINS
POST-ECLIPSE
RED SQUIRREL
BACHATA
CHICK CHORES
POWER OUT
DENNY’S OK
MOVE THE CHICKS
APPLE WASPS
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
CHICKEN WATER HEATER
HALLOWEEN
NO CHICKENS ON BOOK TOUR
TURKEY DAYS
SLEEPY
SKIFF SNOW
OLD YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
THANK YOU STAMP
ABOVE ZERO
REFREEZE
OLD SCHOOL
READING REMINISCENCE
WIN THE DAY
BAD COFFEE
BAD SANDWICH
BUMPKIN TRAVELING/SANDWICH UPDATE
FAMOUS AUTHOR
MAILBOX
DAD MUSIC