Becoming a mother is a simple, natural act … right? It’s the circle of life? You’re a woman – you know what to do … surely? But what happens when your birth does not go even remotely as planned?
Childbirth is no longer simply ‘secret women’s business’ – it is now big business. And women everywhere are paying for information to help them on their journey to motherhood, only to find a very one-sided view about how a birth ‘should’ be. It’s like being given only half the textbook, only it’s presented in such a way that you can’t tell – which is the reason so many women are feeling stuck. This book tells you what you don’t know but need to know. The Day My Vagina Broke is much more than one woman’s birth story. It is written for all women to:
- reveal the massive need for factual and unbiased information to be made easily available to prospective parents, so they can make informed choices
- break down the culture of silence and judgement surrounding childbirth
- challenge ideologies and systemic issues that leave women feeling isolated and abandoned after birth trauma
- make the case for moving away from a one-size-fits-many approach to antenatal care towards a model of individualised assessment and care
- inspire the broken mummas who have experienced birth trauma to change the way they see themselves and know they can heal
- help women to have childbirth experiences that prioritise the health and wellbeing of both baby and mumma.
The Day My Vagina Broke tells the story of Stephanie Thompson’s journey to motherhood, and of medical professionals who dismissed her fears and concerns. The author writes openly about her traumatic birth, and the ongoing physical, emotional and physiological impacts of her injuries. But it is also a story of hope, courage and heart that explores ways to adjust and live with a new reality, and to finally find a way to begin to heal. It’s essential reading for all mothers and the professionals charged with caring for them.
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Introduction 1
Chapter 1: How did we get here? 11
Chapter 2: Pre-birth – a bun in the oven 19
Chapter 3: The birth – baking day 31
Chapter 4: After birth 43
Chapter 5: After the after birth 57
Chapter 6: The (un)happy little family 61
Chapter 7: The costs 77
Chapter 8: Never trust a lawyer, they say … legals and insurance 97
Chapter 9: My workarounds 111
Chapter 10: Mumma’s back – to break the cycle of judgement and silence 121
Chapter 11: Advocacy 127
Where to from here? 135
FAQs 139
A note on medical terms 141
Acknowledgements 143
Tea for Two: Friendship steeped in love 149
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Stephanie Thompson – author, advocate and change-maker – is on a mission to start conversations about childbirth ideology and to question the way we think about, discuss and view childbirth. For Stephanie, every single day needs to be carefully managed and planned to minimise her level of pain, to help her be the best mumma she can be. She shares her experiences in the hope that other mummas won’t be blindsided like she was.