The best way to describe this book is to describe what it is not. It is not a book to explain away a parents behavior. It is not a book to defend, excuse or rationalize. It is not a book about addiction or disease. It is not a book about coping or helping a child to understand. It is not a book about the secrets we keep.
It is a book about what occurs in the world of a child when ambivalence is present. It is about how a child talks to him or herself, choosing behaviors and an identity to accommodate their environment. It is a book about how those behaviors are still running adult lives. It is about the message every child and adult needs to believe about being whole, perfect and complete.
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Michael is just like you. He grew up in a middle class neighborhood and appeared to come from a family like everyone else – normal. By the time he was 17, he was very experienced at keeping the familys secrets. These secrets were, after all, nobody elses business but their own. And again, he appeared to be like everyone else – normal. It wasnt until his late 20s that his five closest friends from college, 10 years after they met, each shared that they too came from families in distress: rageaholism, manic depression, alcoholism, divorce, infidelity, and mental abuse. Yet, each appeared to come from a family like everyone else – normal. He writes not as an authoritarian, educator, social worker or Ph D, but as a person wanting to transform every childs experience of being less than.
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