Pains on Trains is the perfect way to take the tedium out of
commuting, guaranteed to become as indispensable to the seasoned
traveller as the blow-up pillow and water sterilising
tablets.
In Pains on Trains, Andrew Holmes and Matthew Reeves set their
sights on the scourge of the modern office worker – other office
workers who clog up trains, buses, boats and planes with their
annoying habits and depressing clothes. Pains on Trains is
dedicated to the rush-hour veteran and consists of a
‘pain-spotting’ guide to the very worst people you meet on your
daily commute. Each painful character is illustrated in their usual
context and supported by a short narrative.
Mục lục
Preface 6
Acknowledgements 8
Trial by Commuting 10
The Beggar 16
The Belligerent 20
The Born in a Stable 24
The Broadsheet 28
The City Boy 32
The Clique 36
The Creative 40
The Deadbeat 44
The Death Breath 48
The Double Seater 52
The Drunk 56
The Engager 60
The Enquirer 64
The Family 68
The Fast Fooder 72
The Flamboyant Groin 76
The Gadget 80
The Gaggle 84
The Group 88
The Hero 92
The High-flier 96
The Late Starter 100
The Lovers 104
The Make Up Artist 108
The Mammoth 112
The Mobile Phoner 116
The New Worker 120
The Night Clubbers 124
The Nose Picker 128
The Nutter 132
The Over Your Shoulder 136
The Pervert 140
The Phantom Farter 144
The Reservist 148
The Ritualist 152
The Sardine Packer 156
The Sleeper 160
The Social Climber 164
The Spinster 168
The Starer 172
The Stinker 176
The Stretcher 180
The Territorialist 184
The Texter 188
The Toff 192
The Train Timer 196
The Traveller 200
The Vomiter 204
The Wheeled Caser 108
The Youth 212
Afterword 216
Giới thiệu về tác giả
Andrew Holmes is a writer, serial commuter, gadfly and
collector of stories and observations about the people around him.
He spends far too much time on trains for his own good and is
seeking professional help to overcome the obsessive-compulsive
disorders that have resulted. He likes to spend as much time as
possible with his family – assuming he ever gets home of course.
Matt Reeves lives and works somewhat beyond the M25.
Rumours that he is the model for ‘The Creative’ as featured in this
book are grossly over-exaggerated. Working on this project has
given Matt a more detailed understanding of the UK rail system and
its commuters than he would have ideally liked. All proceeds
derived by Matt from this book will be put towards his helicopter
fund.
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